The Emotional Pain
by RespHarmony
Summary: When Hermione denies Harry s love request, because she is dating Ron, Harry starts to fall into a state... No Voldiekins, Horcruxes or Hallows
1. Chapter 1

A/N : YAY! Yet another story, trying to do this longer than my other ones. Hope it comes out as well as I hope it to.

Disclaimer: Yup, I´m J.K. Rowling, If I wasn´t I wouldn´t be posting this here. Kidding If I was I would be a billionaire and I would be posting this here as I am now.

**The Emotional Pain**

**Chapter 1**

_Harry…. We´re best friends, let´s not ruin it, it´s not right. You and I both know that. _She had said before hurrying away.

The raven haired boy was sitting near the Black Lake, thinking about what his only true love had said to him. _Why isn´t it right, WHY am I not good enough?_ Were his thoughts. The Lake was a brilliant place to go, if you needed to be alone, to sort things out.

/flashback/

Harry was walking towards the library, the place where he knew the girl he was looking for would be. He opened the great doors to the library, to immediately see thousands, maybe even millions of books, and hundreds of bookshelves and of course the beautiful bookworm studying , piles of books surrounding her. Harry thought she looked like an angel studying.

He made a coughing sound to announce his presence to her. The doe eyed brunette faced him and smiled her glowing smile; Harry felt nervousness really kicking in.

"Hi, Harry, I was just finishing my Charms essay" she said whilst making the books disappear (probably onto her bed in the girls dorms) "It´s good you´re here, I need to tell you something".

"I need to talk to you as well…. about something" he said shakingly.

Hermione sensed his nervousness and saw the worry in his eyes.

"You can tell me anything Harry, what´s wrong?" she said worriedly.

"Iloveyou" Harry rushed

"Sorry, didn´t catch that. You were talking to fast, even for me" she chuckled.

Harry chuckled a bit too before working up his Gryffindor courage.

"I said, I love you. I don´t expect you to feel the same, I just wanted you to know"

Hermione was shocked, to say the least. Now she couldn´t say what she wanted to.

"Hermione, say something, anything?" his emerald orbs staring into her soft brown ones.

Hermione stuttered a bit before saying "I´m sorry Harry, I just don´t feel the same way, I´m in love with someone else, he understands me"

Harry just sighed, he knew opening his mouth would cause something, be it either good or bad, but it still didn´t make it any less heartbreaking. He just sighed.

"Harry…. We´re best friends, let´s not ruin it, it´s not right. You and I both know that"

/end of flashback/

So now there he was thinking of what happened an hour ago. A bit further away, he saw a couple walking, holding hands and chatting happily. That was the one bad thing of being near the Black Lake, it was private and usually people in love walked down that path. He didn´t pay attention to them, until he recognized their voices. It was Hermione and _Ron?_ His heart shattered in that moment, and tears started to cloud his eyes. He quickly got up and ran into the magnificent castle, without the pair seeing him, they were too busy in their own world.

Harry was running towards the Room of Requirement, to get away from the world, until he bumped into Malfoy. The unshed tears were still in his eyes and Malfoy saw them.

"Awww… Poor Potty got hurt. Wasn´t too bad was it?" Malfoy teased in a babyish voice.

Harry just shoved him out of the way and continued his way towards the Room of Requirement, faintly hearing the Slytherin´s laughs.

/scene/

Hermione was worried, no one had seen Harry since their talk in the library. She and Ron were having dinner in the Great Hall. She wanted to tell Harry, in the library, that they were a couple, but with his confession, she was afraid to do so.

"Don´t worry Herms, he´s probably flying somewhere, and lost track of time" the redhead said with his mouth full.

"Yeah… and Ron will you please not talk with your mouth full"

/meanwhile/

Harry was sitting in the Room of Requirement, which he willed to look like the Gryffindor Common Room, but more cozy, with a bed, a radio and a picture of Hermione. He had been staring at that picture for hours, unmoving. The soft tears were still streaming down his face. He was hurting more than he ever did, even more than he was, when he was under the cruciatus curse. No, emotional pain is far worse, it kills you inside. There was a song playing called _Never Alone_ by Barlowgirl. It was a song with a deep meaning. Harry could hardly hear it though, it was as if his ears were blocking the sound.

He finally decided to do something he had thought he would never do again, due to Dumbledore´s wishes. He willed Mirror of Erised to appear in the room. He slowly walked towards it. Lily and James Potter appeared in the mirror, looking down at Harry with affection and care in their eyes.

"I really wish you were really here mum, dad. Maybe you could help me go through this. Help me realize if there is any need to love anymore, if there is any reason for love" he whispered.

A new figure appeared. A doe eyed brunette, who he would spend the rest of his life with, if he had a chance. She looked at him with love in her brown eyes. It looked so right in Harry´s eyes. Making him think that maybe, someday, he can hope that she will feel the same way. _No!_ Screamed Harry´s mind _she hurt you, more than anyone else, can´t risk falling more deeply in love with her, could get hurt even more than now_. Harry knew the logical part of his mind was right, if he gets hurt more than now, it would be too much for him to handle.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Another Chapter (Yay!). I forgot to mention I the first one is that Sirius is alive.

**Chapter 2**

Hermione and Ron had been going out for 2 weeks now. Everybody knew that on the day they got together, though, news spreads fast in the halls of Hogwarts. Ron already wanted to move onto the snogging bit, but Hermione wasn´t ready yet. Why? She didn´t know. She knew she loves Ron, but something stopped her from going further, it didn´t _feel_ right. Ron respected her decision though, he was quite grown up now.

Harry wasn´t having the best time either. He kept showing up to classes, and his grades were improving rapidly, but he was never seen during break times or even meal times. He didn't even sleep in the dormitory anymore. No one knew he was in the Room of Requirement, of course. He was never seen going in there, because he was always under his invisibility cloak and had the Marauder´s map. He hadn´t been eating much. Sure he willed the room to make some food appear, from time to time, but it was almost less than he got in the Dursley house. Loneliness was creeping in as well, he hadn´t talked to anyone after the talk with Hermione and he always blamed himself, when he saw her looking at him with pitiful eyes. To make things worse, he didn´t sleep, and if he did he had horrible nightmares including blood, murder and Hermione. The raven headed boy wouldn´t do anything about it, even though he knew it wasn´t healthy, mentally and physically.

/scene/

Harry was just exiting the Defence Against the Dark Arts class, until Hermione stood in front of him with determination, pity and something else in her eyes.

"Alright Harry, what´s going on? You haven´t talked to me, or anyone in fact, after the time you told me how you felt" she said. Now that she could observe him she noticed the bags under his eyes, how skinny he looked and how pale he was.

Harry was about to push past, but Hermione just blocked him

"Let me through" he said in a dangerously low voice.

"Not until you tell me what has happened" she replied in an `I´m-determined-to-know-what´s-going-on` tone. Harry just glared at her, which made her step back a bit, he never glared at her. She got her posture back quickly though.

"Why are you avoiding everybody? Why are you avoiding me? Why do you _hate me?_" she said breaking down into sobs, but remaining in a determined position.

"I could never hate you Hermione" he said in a soft tone, but started to, again, try to push her away.

"Then why are you not talking to me, not asking me for help, not even letting me near you?" she cried.

The brunette pulled him into a hug, which he returned, but half-heartedly. He pushed her away a few seconds later and sprinted towards, now as he called it, his room, with fresh tears in his eyes. What he didn´t notice was that Hermione sped after him. Unfortunately for Hermione though he was faster than her and disappeared from her view. She had to tell Ron about this.

/scene/

As soon as Hermione entered the common room, Ron engulfed her into a hug, having already noticed the tears.

"What happened Hermione?" Ron asked. Hermione had told him about her plan to corner him and by the looks of it, it didn´t go well.

"I cornered him and asked him what was going on and why was he avoiding everybody, and he only answered to one of my questions, which was `why do you hate me?`. He doesn´t hate me is the only good part. You should have seen him Ron. He was so skinny and pale, he eyes looked so tired and defeated, which I had never seen before. He hardly even hugged me back when I hugged him" she sobbed.

Ron tried his best to calm her down, by smoothing her hair and softly talking to her. Ron could already see that Hermione loved Harry, even though she didn´t know that yet. The red head started to get ready to let her go, when the time comes.

/scene/

Harry arrived in his room, to immediately will the Mirror of Erised in. He had been doing that everyday, talking to his mother and father, even though they couldn´t respond. His emerald eyes finally let the tears fall down to his cheeks. Due to the stress of emotions and schoolwork he had started cutting himself to try and get rid of some of the emotional pain. Another slash in the arm as the warm, red blood trickles down his arm, onto the cold floor.

He knew the effects of bottling up emotions, no sleep and not enough nutrients were really kicking in. He still wouldn´t do anything about them though.

/scene/

Albus Dumbledore had noticed Harry´s behavior and has become worried. He knew something bad was going to happen to Harry and it would be quite soon. He had contacted Sirius about his condition and he wasn´t too happy about it either. Harry´s godfather had said he had sent a lot of letters to Harry, but got no answers to them. What would happen to the broken boy? Only time could tell

A/N: In the next chapter, something will happen to Harry, which isn´t good at any way. Who will help him out of this? Will Hermione realize her feelings? Will anyone even be able to help poor Harry? I´m not telling you


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well this is the last chappie, hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 3**

Ron had been keeping a close eye on Harry, ever since Hermione told him what had happened. The redhead didn´t like watching his mate that way, but he knew something was going to happen to Harry and he needed to be there for him, no matter how much he pushed everyone away.

/scene/

Transfiguration class had just ended, when the raven headed boy suddenly fell forwards in the hallway. The redhead had seen him walk almost dizzily up the hall and was in shock to see him fall. Ron ran towards Harry and levitated him towards the Hospital Wing.

/scene/

When they arrived Madame Pomfrey quickly put Harry on one of the beds and started casting diagnosive spells, whilst Ron ran to find Hermione. A few minutes later both of them ran in, with Hermione having tears in her eyes.

"He´s over exhausted himself, from lack of sleep, hadn´t eaten almost at all and his veins seemed to be closing up. That could only mean emotional pain" explained the healer.

"How can someone get hurt so much from emotional pain, that it might kill ´em?" asked a perplexed Ron.

Hermione looked like she wanted to explain, but was choked in emotion of seeing her friend that way, that only sobs emitted from her, as she broke down and almost fell to the edge of Harry´s bed.

"When people bottle up emotions, the body gets heavier, due to the stress. They get overwhelmed by emotion and even the healthiest people may die from heart attacks, just because they didn´t let out their emotions" explained Madame Pomfery, as she ran into her office to get some potions and call Sirius.

Ron was stunned, whilst Hermione was crying more than ever. She knew she had done this to him, by hurting him. It was all her fault.

Madame Pomfrey rushed in with dreamless sleep potion and vein opening potion, with Sirius on her tail. She made the liquids pass through Harry´s mouth, into his body. He visibly relaxed. As he moved a little after he was given the potions, a slew of his shirt came up a little and everyone saw the cuts on his arm. Madame Pomfrey started healing him immediately.

"This is worse than I though, why would he do this to himself" said Sirius sadly.

"Did you know about this…" Ron gestured towards Harry´s arm "….him, you know, cutting?" Hermione shaked her head furiously, not trusting her voice at the moment.

"Why didn´t any of you know about this?" the healer asked them

"He hasn´t been sleeping in the dorm. He´s only seen in class and he talks to no one. We tried, Madame Pomfrey, but he wouldn´t open up" Ron said, while comforting Hermione.

Sirius was shocked.

Madame Pomfrey just nodded and went back into her quarters.

"Ron, I think I know. H-h-he came into the library one day. He told me he loved me, on the same day I wanted to tell hem w-w-we got together" whispered Hermione, her tears freely flowing down her face.

"And you said you didn´t" stated Ron. "Hermione, you still haven´t realized how you feel about Harry, haven´t you"

"What do you mean?" asked Hermione

"You love him. I´ve seen it. You wouldn´t kiss me because something was holding you back. It was your love for Harry. You are always worried about him. You´ve gone through so many things with him. He loves you Hermione and you love him" said Ron.

Hermione let Ron´s words sink in and she realized something. She _is_ in love with Harry.

"But I love you too" said Hermione

"I know you do, but you´re not _in _love with me" stated Ron

"You´ve really grown up, you know that" said Hermione, her eyes glued on Harry.

Ron just smiled, whilst Sirius was glad that Hermione and Harry had such a good friend.

"You need to tell him how you feel, when he wakes up. You will be the only one to save him"

"Thanks Ron, you´re a good friend" she said

/scene/

Everything was blurry. _Where am I, what happened?_

He found his glasses on the bedside table next to him. He realized he was in the Hospital Wing. _Typical_, he thought. Suddenly he felt a weigth next to him. He looked over to see a mass of bushy hair and the face of the angel, he was in love with, sleeping next to him. Harry smiled. He didn´t care what happened next, he just wanted this to last forever.

A few minutes later Hermione woke up to see emerald eyes staring at him. She lunged herself at him.

"Oh, Harry! I was so worried, Ron said you collapsed and he brought you here! You looked so pale, almost dead! I´ve been a fool Harry! I´ve realized how I feel about you, Ron made me open my eyes! I love you" she exclaimed.

Harry tensed for a moment.

"But, that day you said-" he was cut off.

"I was a fool. I thought I loved Ron. I do in fact. But I´m _in_ love with you" she whispered.

He had wanted to hear those words for a long time.

"I love you too" he said happily "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, on one condition though" she said.

"Anything"

"Come back, stop cutting yourself, be the Harry that I know" she whispered.

"He came back the instant you said ´I love you´ to him" he smiled.

He looked over Hermione´s shoulder to see his godfather snoring on the chair next to the bed.

Madame Pomfrey had secretly seen the scene in front of her and decided to announce her presence.

"It´s a good thing you´re awake, Mr. Potter, I need to give you a few more potions to see if you are healthy enough to leave, but firstly let me wake him up" she said gesturing towards Sirius.

"Wake up. Wake up you dog! If you snore any louder you´re going to be kicked out!" she yelled whilst Sirius didn´t budge.

"Fine, have it your way" she said "Hello Peter"

Sirius woke in an instant "Pettigrew? Where is that rat? I swear I´ll-" he said whilst having his wand ready.

Everyone started laughing at Sirius.

"Ha, ha" he mocked. The marauder noticed Harry, awake.

"It´s so nice to see you, Pup. You didn´t look the best whilst you were in here. And if I´m correct I have a lot of teasing to do since it looks like the Golden pair is finally together!" he exclaimed, whilst hugging the two.

He turned to Hermione "Thank you, Hermione, for saving him"

/scene/

Harry got out of the Wing on the same day Hermione and he got together. They entered the Great Hall, holding hands. Everyone was quiet. Suddenly cheers rang up from the hall, even some teachers, including the Headmaster, were cheering. They decided to have their first kiss in front of everyone, to show they will have a life together. Forever.


End file.
